Growing Up Different

For the majority of my life, I tried to hide the fact that there was something different on the inside of me. See, I didn’t just grow up in a regular church, I grew up in a tongue talking, spirit filled, laying on of hands, casting out demons, speak to your situation, use your authority type of church. As a kid, when you know that much Word, it requires you to live your life on a higher standard. However I wasn’t ready to do that. I wanted my salvation and to walk in my authority as a believer, but I also wanted to fit in with the crowd. Eventually, I got to a point where I was all God’s on Sunday, but Monday through Saturday I was busy trying to figure out how I could blend in with the people at school. People at school cussed, I cussed. People at school smoked weed, I wanted to smoke weed. People at school got drunk, I wanted to get drunk too. I saw the lifestyle that everyone lived that looked so fun, and even though I didn’t have access to things like alcohol and weed in high school, it didn’t stop me from desiring to live the same life.

My freshman year of college I didn’t drink, party, or do any of the things I wanted to do in high school. And I’d be giving myself too much credit if I didn’t mention that it was in part because, like high school, I didn’t have access to those things. God blessed me with good, Christian friends who didn’t engage in those types of activities and helped keep me on track, yet I still found myself constantly wondering if I was missing out.

Flash forward to my first semester of sophomore year and I find myself staring at everything I had secretly desired in the past: parties, alcohol, guys, etc, all within my reach. I had my ticket to fitting in and I took it. I was finally doing all the things everyone else did, yet it didn’t have the effect I thought it would. I felt guilty, I couldn’t find satisfaction in it, and after all, I still didn’t really fit in with the people I was doing it with.

Thankfully, God snatched me out of my mess before I made some life altering mistakes and helped me to realize that there was a reason I was different. Romans 8:29 says that “For those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son.” God had already predetermined that I was going to be conformed (be similar in form or type) to Jesus so there was a reason why even though I was doing the same things as the world, it didn’t feel right to me.

Peter tells us in 1 Peter 2:9 that we, as Christians, are a “chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God.” This means that we’re supposed to be different. God has chosen us and called us out of the world in order to live a life fully dedicated to Him. That’s why even in my sin, I felt like I didn’t blend in with everyone else. God had called me to be something different. The King James Version says that we are a “peculiar people”. Peculiar means strange, odd, or unusual. It’s unusual not to drink, smoke, or have sex before marriage but that’s the life God has called us to. For most of my life I thought I was different just for the sake of being different; I didn’t see the purpose behind it. But 2 Timothy 2:21 says that “If you stay away from sin you will be like one of these dishes made of purest gold…so that Christ himself can use you for His highest purposes.” The reason God called us to live such a different life was so that we could be clean of sin and ready to be used for His purposes.

My pastor always says “you’re not supposed to be popular, you’re supposed to be peculiar”. So if you’re like me and you’ve always been a little different, just remember that it’s not in vain. God is just preparing you to be used for a higher purpose. :) 


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