On The Fence

My freshman year of college, I had lunch with a friend of mine who wasn’t a Christian. We were just getting to know each other and I was telling him about some Christian organizations I was a part of.

“Oh so you’re a church girl, huh?” He asked

“Yeah, but I mean, I still want to go out and party.” I replied.

He shook his head and laughed, “No, if you’re going to be a church girl, be a church girl. You can’t do both.”

I was speechless, and his response has stuck with me ever since.

I think a lot of young Christians live where I was during that conversation; in a position of straddling the fence with one foot in the Church and another foot in the world. I believed in Jesus, but I wasn’t quite ready to give my life up and completely live for Him. I could act like a Christian when it was convenient; when I was at church, or at a youth conference, or I needed a nice inspirational verse to post on twitter. But if you saw me in real life, you might not have been able to tell I was a Christian. I lived this way for years; half in the church and half in the world, trying to keep both parts of my life separate.

One year, I went to a church camp over the summer and I saw other Christians my age genuinely on fire for God. I was shocked, I had never seen people my age so passionate about God and I wanted to be the same way. But as I went back to school, I realized that kind of passion took a whole lot of boldness, and a definite lifestyle change. The reason I didn’t go all in for Christ because I wasn’t ready to give up my old life, and I was afraid of what people might think if I did. It’s not a big deal to say you’re a Christian, but when you really start living it out, people take notice. I didn’t want to be stand out (see “Growing Up Different”), I just wanted to live a comfortable life, which meant being worldy with worldy people and a Christian with Christian people.

The thing is, I couldn’t have it both ways. 1 Corinthians 10:21 says “You can’t eat at the Lord’s Table and the table of demons, too.” And in James 4:4, “if you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God.” The kingdom of God and of Satan oppose each other so there is no way to live in both. You have to choose, either God or the world.

In John 14:15 Jesus tells his disciples “If you love me, obey my commandments.” For my entire life I had said I loved God, yet I was living in a manner completely opposite of His Word. I had to ask myself did I really love God or did I love my lifestyle more?

If you’re on the fence I would encourage you to ask yourself that same question, because it’s better to choose rather than to remain on the fence for the rest of your life. For God said in Revelation 3:15-16, “I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish you were one or the other. But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.”

I chose to stop being lukewarm and to live my life for Jesus, although sometimes I’m still tempted to live a comfortable life on the fence. When this happens, I get into the Word and I think about the valuable lesson my friend unknowingly taught me that day: If you’re going to live for Jesus, then really live for Jesus; there’s no in-between.

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